Rules for Storming the Floor

(We take this way too seriously to leave it open to random edits. But if you want to propose a change or argue with us, hit us up at stormingthefloor AT gmail DOT com)

When to Storm:

-If your unranked team beats a top-10 opponent.
-If your lower-division school beats a D1 opponent.
-You beat your most hated rival in overtime, or on a last-second miracle shot.
-Your team breaks a long losing streak against a particularly difficult opponent.
-Your team wins the league tournament in a one-bid conference.
-You become the first 16 seed to beat a 1 seed in the NCAA tournament. (Yes, we recommend storming a neutral court for this one)
-If your school wins the NCAA tournament (Technically, this is a campus storming). This very special win also confers limited looting & pillaging rights.

Not OK:

-Winning the NIT (or CBI or any other two-bit post-season tourney some hustler dreams up).
-If your school is ranked, with possible exceptions for beating #1.
-Students at Kansas, UCLA, Kentucky, Indiana, North Carolina, and Duke should be very used to winning. Unless a National Championship is within sniffing distance, you will look like assholes storming the floor.
-Never, ever storm the floor before the final buzzer sounds (yes, this has happened).
-If you storm an opponent's floor, odds are you will get hurt.
-A personal milestone for a player or coach is his moment, not yours.
-The Ivy League? I don't think so. (We've softened our stance on this somewhat. Clinching an Ivy championship is sufficient grounds.)

How to Storm:

-Make sure you know which gate will be open. If you try to storm through the wrong one, risk entering enemy territory and becoming a target for an entire section of irate opposing fans. (I speak from personal experience)
-Don't try to bust in on your players and coaches. They appreciate your enthusiasm, but you aren't welcome in a huddle.
-Do not approach Jim Calhoun, Bobby Knight, Bob Huggins, or Frank Martin; even if they coach for your school.
-Don't rub it in the face of opposing players. They lost, and you didn't score, dish, or rebound once in the game. If the players can treat each other with respect, fans owe nothing less.
-For the love of god, don't damage your own building. That's just stupid.
-Don't overstay your welcome. When things start to wind down, take it to the nearest bar. If the team's gone, you should be, too.
-Enjoy the moment. Storming the floor should be rare enough to taste sweet.

Amendments (The Basketball Lover's Bill of Rights and Responsibilities)

-The Wake Forest Rule: We've recently seen small clumps of students attempt to start a storming, creating lonely eddies instead of the ecstatic rush to the logo. Storm, don't drizzle.

-The Indiana Corollary: If your once-dominant team falls on hard times and misses the tournament for four or more years running, then turns it around cleanly, a year of compensatory floor storming privileges will be levied.

-The Winn Embargo: If at all possible, try not to step on the poor schlubs on press row. We know it's tempting, but they're just trying to do their jobs. This goes for clock operators too (The Cornell Addendum) However, it behooves front-liners to scent the wind occasionally and be prepared for the inevitable. In other words, don't tempt the beast.

-The Bison Caveat: Seldom has a floor storming been so richly deserved as the one precipitated by the NDSU Bison winning the 2009 Summit League tournament. It was a team loaded with red-shirt seniors who prevailed on a last-second shot in their first, and only, chance to make the Big Dance. The few fans who had made it to the game had to come through a brutal winter storm to see it all unfold. The rush was righteously exuberant and emotional, but it got a little rough when a mosh-pit of students took Mike Tviedt to the hardwood in their excitement. I think we can all agree that it's bad form to tackle your own players.

-The EDSBS Incursion: Generally, we heartily discourage storming not related to the procurement of a championship or a last-second win against a rival. However, if your team takes the floor against an opponent with a standing policy of racial discrimination... In the words of the Watts rioters of 1965 "Burn, Baby, Burn!"

-The Blueballs Exception: On December 3, 2009, Unranked, rebuilding Texas Tech beat #10 Washington on an apparent buzzer-beating trey. Students righteously stormed, only to have the shot overturned. The floor was cleared for ten minutes, followed by one period of OT, which gave the Red Raiders a chance to win the game by a larger margin of 99-92. Storming resumed. Vince Vaughn might call that game "Just the tip," but we know how that always ends, right? And nobody's going to fault you for that. Storming approved.

-The College of Charleston Backstep: If your mid-major program has upset a top-25 team in the non-conference season, it seems a bit backward to flood the hardwood after beating your conference's third-place contender with ten games of the season still left to play. Possible exceptions for a historical rivalry, but Charleston's two-point victory was over Wofford, who joined the SoCon in 1997. As if to prove our point, CofC promptly went to second-place Western Carolina and lost by a score of 100-90.

Floor Storming Symposium - Mid-Majority.com
Celebrations A Growing Storm - Charlotte Observer
Cornell Fans Destroy Scorer's Clock - CBS Sports.com
Arkansas Pine-Bluff Students Rush Prematurely - The Dagger
Not the Kind of Sexy Cougar You Expected - EDSBS
Texas Tech 99, Washington 92 (OT) - ESPN.com
CofC storms vs. Wofford - Kyle Whelliston @ pic.im